Ten Years Ago: I Met My Daisy

This time 10 years ago, I was terrified. I’ve been in and witnessed things by that point in my life that had sincerely scared me, but nothing was comparable to this. The possibility of losing a baby. Again. Every move my baby made was just a tiny, quick wearing off injection of reassurance. Every time…

Adulting? I’d Much Rather Read

The thing about having to ‘adult’ is that you no longer have the carefree mind-set of a kid. You have responsibilities, you have commitments… And for the most part, this is fine. Spending the rest of my life with my best friend and lover all rolled into one (my husband) has consequences. We live together…

Grief Monster

It doesn’t matter how many times you walk through the valley of the shadow of death, it still hurts the same. Different things make you hurt, but the hurt is still there, in your heart. I wonder why we, as human beings, are engineered to physically feel emotional pain in one of our internal organs….

Lucy & Bryonie’s Story

It is my eldest daughters 8th Birthday today in heaven. They passed away in April and May 2007. Not a moment goes by when we do not love them, miss them or want them. They are everything, just like their two little rainbow sisters. This was written in 2007, just after my eldest daughter passed…

I’m Sorry, But I Can’t Remember What You Got My Child!

I am extremely grateful for everything my daughters get from doting family and friends. It is great to know that they thought of my girls and that means a lot when you are a Mum. However… there is this one aspect that bothers me: remembering who bought them what. The last time this happened to…

Emotional Memory Series #3: The Greatest Love of All

I have started and stopped and then started again to write this entry in my Emotional Memory Series. It has proven much harder to put this into words than the other two previous entries, because words aren’t always capable of demonstrating this human emotion. I have begun with examining two versions of ‘romantic’ love, if…

Things That Only a New Mum Would (maybe) Understand

I came across an article recently that listed things that only women who have actually given birth understand or know. The list, for me, fell short a tad. I didn’t have a weird zen expectation of birth, nor did I go in with the hope of scented candles and Mozart on a play list. I…

Why I Hate Christmas

Ho Ho Ho! And those are the words that are usually uttered at lasses out on a hen night in Blackpool. But tis’ the season, the meaning of those words has changed. Unless of course, you’re from St. Helens in which case the former meaning is the usual one regardless of season and level of…