4 Years Since My Mother Died

Four years ago today, my mother died. I think I have probably covered the particulars of that day already within this blog, so I won’t go back over them. A preoccupying thought I have at times, is the wish to go back in time and try to warn her that if she carried on down…

October: Infant Loss Awareness Month Begins

Grief is a very peculiar animal. You can go for seemingly endless time periods without it overwhelming you and then it hits you, violently, like a tidal wave. I lost my daughters eleven years ago and there are times I suddenly feel like I have been lifted off my feet by the strength of my…

NEW Poem: Mothers Heart

This is a BIG one for me. I haven’t written new poetry for 11 years. The reason for that, was due to the fact that the last two poems I wrote were about my daughters, who devastatingly passed away in 2007. I figured that there was no way I could write about anything more deserving…

Email from 23rd May 2007 – Sending the News of Lucy’s Passing

Here is a copy of an email I sent out to family and friends a few days after Lucy’s funeral. Back before Facebook was the go-to medium of choice for contacting friends and family, I would occasionally e-mail out updates of how we were getting on post-university. I don’t think anyone really wanted to receive…

The First of my Angel’s Anniversaries Start Today

So it begins. The tenth anniversaries of when I lost my babies have now begun with today. 10 years ago today, I went into labour at work, sat at my desk. I remember panicking and sobbing with the pain and the thought that the precious lives I was carrying were in danger. I remember it…

Today is My Mother’s 60th Birthday

My mother would have been 60 years old today, if she had lived. She had just turned 58 about a month before she died. I find myself at something of a loss as to how I should mark the occasion. After all, turning 60 is a huge milestone and should be marked. However, all I…

A Year Since I Lost Her

It is an odd day today. On the one hand, it is my Dad’s birthday. On the other, it is the first anniversary of when my mother died. She passed at about 12pm on a cold and overcast Thursday afternoon at Whiston Hospital in St Helens. She was just 58 years and one month old….

Another Sad Christmas (with some nice bits though)

When I was really little, when I believed in Father Christmas, it was magical. There were traditions and rituals that we would go through each year on Christmas eve – my mother would take us up to bed, singing Jingle Bells and a big white paper sack that was nearly as tall as me would…

Butterflies

I think it all began when I went to look for wedding dresses. I was 22 years old, a graduate in a shiny new job and starting out life living in a different part of the country from where I grew up. There was a great deal of change whirling around in my life, as…

100 Objects Project #15: The Remembrance Ring

This ring I had made when it approached the birthday of Lucy and Bryonie, a few years ago. I try and do something constructive to remember them by and one year, this was it. It’s sterling silver and their names stamped in either side of their birthstone (or a close approximation of it, it’s cubic…