Why Do I Talk Publicly About the Loss of My Daughters?

I am certain that I have covered this before, certainly around the this time of year. Why do I share my pain, thoughts and feelings about the loss of my eldest two daughters publicly? Why do I leave messages addressed to them in places where everyone can see them? Why don’t I maintain some sort…

Video of My Mother

I got a message from my uncle today to let me know that he’d found a short video clip of my mother out of a stack of old Betamax tapes he had. It was filmed by my Dad in 1986 when my mother was 29 and he was 28, in the living room of our…

4 Years Since My Mother Died

Four years ago today, my mother died. I think I have probably covered the particulars of that day already within this blog, so I won’t go back over them. A preoccupying thought I have at times, is the wish to go back in time and try to warn her that if she carried on down…

Children Need Us This Christmas

Christmas time is upon us once again and as it is me, I tend to be reflective. There is a very sad side to Christmas for me – having to deal with the grief of getting to another Christmas without my two eldest daughters. That sadness, but also just being a mother in general means…

October: Infant Loss Awareness Month Begins

Grief is a very peculiar animal. You can go for seemingly endless time periods without it overwhelming you and then it hits you, violently, like a tidal wave. I lost my daughters eleven years ago and there are times I suddenly feel like I have been lifted off my feet by the strength of my…

Ten Years Ago: I Met My Daisy

This time 10 years ago, I was terrified. I’ve been in and witnessed things by that point in my life that had sincerely scared me, but nothing was comparable to this. The possibility of losing a baby. Again. Every move my baby made was just a tiny, quick wearing off injection of reassurance. Every time…

NEW Poem: Mothers Heart

This is a BIG one for me. I haven’t written new poetry for 11 years. The reason for that, was due to the fact that the last two poems I wrote were about my daughters, who devastatingly passed away in 2007. I figured that there was no way I could write about anything more deserving…

Happy Birthday, Charlie Gard

Rather than focus on the heated and varied debate regarding the medical case of Charlie Gard, I am instead simply going to think of his parents on this special day. Today would have been his first birthday. There is no way that this day last year, Chris and Connie would have dreamt in a million…

Charlie Gard: Hope for Home in Final Days

  For reasons completely out of the control of his parents, little Charlie Gard is no longer able to be treated for his illness. With this in mind, they have made the decision, now all avenues have been exhausted, to remove Charlie from his life support and let him pass away. Their final wish is…

Charlie Gard: An Update

In my last post, I reflected on the impending loss of baby Charlie Gard, the baby at the centre of a battle between his parents and the doctors treating him. When I wrote my post, it was in response to the fact his parents had released a video on YouTube stating that they would be…