Dream

I’m one of those people who dream very vividly, but not long after I wake up, the memory of those dreams fade rather quickly. Which is a shame. I think some of the things I see in my dreams are fascinating and play better than any movie. I had a dream last night that was…

Our Twins 12 Years On

Originally posted on tompkin98blog:
So its late where I am currently and I find myself reflecting. This time of year is always very difficult for me and my partner as it marks the darkest time of our lives. Reverse back for a moment to 2007, we had been married for less than a year…

Why Do I Talk Publicly About the Loss of My Daughters?

I am certain that I have covered this before, certainly around the this time of year. Why do I share my pain, thoughts and feelings about the loss of my eldest two daughters publicly? Why do I leave messages addressed to them in places where everyone can see them? Why don’t I maintain some sort…

Video of My Mother

I got a message from my uncle today to let me know that he’d found a short video clip of my mother out of a stack of old Betamax tapes he had. It was filmed by my Dad in 1986 when my mother was 29 and he was 28, in the living room of our…

4 Years Since My Mother Died

Four years ago today, my mother died. I think I have probably covered the particulars of that day already within this blog, so I won’t go back over them. A preoccupying thought I have at times, is the wish to go back in time and try to warn her that if she carried on down…

Happy 6th Publication Anniversary to My Short Story

Remember the time when I got a short story published? I don’t ever really like publishing my own stuff – just because I write for pleasure and that is really it. I don’t require feedback on what I write (although I do not discourage it). I think the main thing is, I did it for…

Getting Back Into Things

Firstly, happy New Year! I hope that your 2019 is a good one. Life cannot always provide you with the outcomes that you want or even need, so I wish for you to have the determination to survive the bad and the ability to always notice the good. Now, onto other things. I’ve not taken…

Top 20 Christmas Films

So, the time of Christmas and its hijacked original festival of Yule is upon us once again, so in the spirit of fun and seasonal joy, I thought I shall share a list of my top Christmas films/TV… I know – edge of the seat stuff, right? Scrooged (1988) Arthur Christmas (2011) Home Alone 1…

Children Need Us This Christmas

Christmas time is upon us once again and as it is me, I tend to be reflective. There is a very sad side to Christmas for me – having to deal with the grief of getting to another Christmas without my two eldest daughters. That sadness, but also just being a mother in general means…

October: Infant Loss Awareness Month Begins

Grief is a very peculiar animal. You can go for seemingly endless time periods without it overwhelming you and then it hits you, violently, like a tidal wave. I lost my daughters eleven years ago and there are times I suddenly feel like I have been lifted off my feet by the strength of my…