The thing about having to ‘adult’ is that you no longer have the carefree mind-set of a kid. You have responsibilities, you have commitments… And for the most part, this is fine.
Spending the rest of my life with my best friend and lover all rolled into one (my husband) has consequences. We live together and therefore have to work in order to make that whole marriage thing work – we need food to share, electricity and gas and water to make our little love nest happen, so we both must work. Work also gives us both the opportunity to keep our brains busy and the chance to miss each other. As much as we love each other, I think if we did spend every moment of every day together (despite how often we say we wish we could), we’d end up like that episode of Red Dwarf were they all end up going crazy at each other because three of them have had to share a small space together for a few days.
Another thing with adulting, is kids. We both wanted babies in our twenties and have that whole scary business out the way by the time I was thirty (I was just over the age of 30 with Willow, by five days). We both didn’t want to spend our thirties becoming parents, we wanted all that chaos for our youth.
The thing is, it was our decision to make. You learn early, being a grown up, that what you choose to do, has consequences. Some of them are great consequences (I chose the best man I had ever known to be my wonderful, amazing husband and we chose to buy a house and have many babies). Some of them are terrible (deciding to become parents which also meant losing Lucy and Bryonie).
You do have to take ownership though, whether good or bad. No one likes to be wrong, who does? We all like to think we know all the answers. I think it is just a natural reaction to things that are thrown at you by life and you have to make quick decisions on how to proceed, right or wrong.
I’ve met a few fellow adults over the course of my life that refuse to take ownership of their actions and the respective consequences. Some are just simply deluded. Some are just head in the sand types.
Others know it is their fault and refuse to own the situation regardless.
I’m pretty certain that at times, I’ve buried my head in the sand too, because that seemed like a smarter, easier option at the time.
The thing is, it never goes away. Your choices and decisions will follow you forever until you own them, make things right and make peace with yourself and others.
It is part of being a grownup – tough as it is.
I personally do not like adulting. I would rather lie in bed all day and read one of the many books waiting to be read on my Kindle or paint one of the blank canvasses that live in the cupboard that have probably given up waiting for me to return. I can’t though. I have a job, a home to sort and above all – a husband who needs to be with me and our beautiful girls who need their Mummy.
Would I change it though? No. I wouldn’t. The only person that got me where I am is me and I am bloody proud of that.
You should be proud of you, too.
PS I am totally coining the word ‘adulting’ ;D