Time is drifting ever onwards towards my 10th wedding anniversary.
It is mind-boggling how I’ve managed to get to this massive milestone without completely driving my husband round the twist!
It has not always been plain sailing – we have had a lot of bumps in the road, pretty much all of them have been outside our control. We have seen storms that would end many relationships, but we have always found our way through. The dance we dance has always been so magically right, that we get through the fires of hell and still twirl together in love and joy.
We have rows. We fall out. We get irritated with each other – this is no sweet bed of roses kind of romance. We get frustrated by life and can both be guilty of taking that out on each other from time to time. I think that is just normal and natural as a couple. You are two living, breathing human adults occupying the same space, so there are times when we slink off to be on our own or get the wrong end of the stick, especially when we’re tired or run down; buried somewhere beneath the burden of daily life and work and responsibility.
To err is to be human and we err. We have to. Despite how saccharin our relationship may seem to many, I would hate for anyone to think the highlight reel they see, especially on platforms like Facebook, is all there is to it. I think if we didn’t admit to being grumpy gits to each other from time to time, it would seem disingenuous and a bit creepy.
It is not our bedrock, our base element though. Honesty is, along with love and trust. I would place my life in my husbands hands without a shadow of doubt. I trust him implicitly, something I cannot say I have done before with anyone.
I have always had to be on my guard with friends, family and my pervious partner. It was frustrating to an extent, to not be able to give my full heart and soul to one person. I have been let down, binned off and betrayed by so many people I have loved deeply, that I thought it was nigh-on impossible to find that BBD – bigger, better deal. That one person that would take hold of you entire and treasure you like Gollum does the one ring.
I know, great analogy, right?
So getting to 10 years is a miraculous, beautiful thing to behold. My man was the best damn thing to happen to me when I met him when I was 20.
I was at my lowest ebb, I was in such a mess, BUT he changed that. He was a balm and a tonic all at once. It took me so long to truly believe what I had with him was real – I’d been destroyed, let alone burnt before. He earned every inch of my trust and care and love. He wrapped himself about me like a protective vine and blocked out the noise of horror inside the emptiness and misery inside me.
This time 10 years ago, I was gearing up for my wedding and I was so excited. Part of me still refused to accept that I could be getting my happily ever after. We’d only been together for 3 years at the time and neither of us knew what the hell to expect from married life.
I know people say they don’t believe in marriage and call it nothing more than a ‘bit of paper’. If you think that, then you’ve either never met the right person, or you have never married the right person. Marriage is so much more than a partnership or liaison. It is that bright and beautiful moment where you stand before your God if you have one, the law of the land, your family, your friends, hell – even your enemies and detractors and shout WE ARE FOREVER.
It is you and them, holding hands and saying to anyone who would dare cast you asunder to do their worst. It’s you and your spouse against the whole damn world and what a goddamn awesome team you make, so bring it on.
When a 23 year old me in a dress sprinkled with white and pink butterflies, looked into the kind, loving green eyes of the man I was promising forever to – I had not idea what was to come. I had no idea what tests we would be thrown and no idea if this dream we were both buying into was going to pan out.
But we did.
So, as we start to come to terms with getting to 10 freakin’ years together next month, I will extend my hope that you fair reader, also find your BBD and marry the ass off of them too 🙂