Blog, Parenting, Uncategorized

On a Diet

I have begun a diet and this time, I think I’ve made some headway with it (although sometimes it doesn’t look or feel that way).

I never weigh myself as a rule and leave that and the outcome to it with those in the medical profession who do it because they need to.

I have always gone off my clothes. I refuse to be a slave to weighing scales. If the zipper struggles to get up, I need to get on a diet. Simples.

I cut out the junky, clunky stuff I probably enjoy the most with simpler food: salad mainly. I will add a bit of cheese or meat and a slice of brown bread and that will be all I eat until the weight comes down. I do try and have one day of rest from the diet – usually a Saturday. This is when we have a fun family meal that the kids love.

This is usually a great big spaghetti carbonara with a cheese more than cream based sauce, a pasta bake or lasagne (all homemade) with salad, or fajita’s. We sometimes have a picky tea, where we buy a big party sized salad from Tesco and  then lots of oven-bake party foods. The kids love all of those meals and it is a good way to get around the table and have a chat and a laugh with food that is naughty but nice.

I supplement the kids from having chips or other forms of deep fried potatoes with plain boiled penne pasta instead of chips, or boiled white rice with peas and sweetcorn mixed in.

Both of those options are a hit.

The Dream, St Helens - 2014

Neither of the kids have salt or vinegar on food and I do not cook with it either. How can they know what they’re missing if I do not introduce them to it? My older daughter doesn’t like fizzy pop. We have never given it to her, so when someone gives her some, she pulls a face and asks for water, milk or juice instead.

I am just happy with it being like that for them and I don’t get complaints from them either. There is enough stuff in what they do consume that probably isn’t great, so I’m at least moving some of it out of the running.

As for me? I wasn’t brought up to say no salt and vinegar. I just figured with my own kids, I could just not give them it and that when they are older, they can do what they want, but they won’t have had years before of some of the bad stuff in their system. I guess that is what I am aiming at.

I just try and make regular healthy choices and when I think I have started to put on some weight, I then try a concentrated effort to do something about it. I do try and exercise more too.

I have never been obese and have been the same clothing size since I was 22. That size makes me look healthy, so I like to try and keep it that way. If I go below that, I look pained and pinched and gaunt, all things I want to avoid.

Like any woman, I have body image issues. These augmented exponentially by idiots I have known over the course of my life. I was in a rotten, abusive relationship with a ‘man’ I can only describe as a ‘monster’ (if I am being really nice about it), who regularly called me ‘fat’, ‘ugly’ and a ‘slag’. Usually, all three together. He used to tell me I was such an ‘ugly slag’ and so ‘fat’ that no other man would ever want me and that I should be grateful to him for deeming me worthy of someone like him.

Afterwards, I also reflected that it was amazing too that someone like him could be with someone like me: He was the lucky one and I was miles too damn good for him.

He wasn’t the only voice. I think he chose those things to attack me with because he knew they were deep-rooted insecurities, especially my weight.

He knew other people had wrongly called me fat and had therefore chose to slay me at a weak spot.

The other voices still make vile comments about my weight to this day and I just have to take their bullshit. Because they won’t change – they have mega insecurities of their own they don’t want to focus on, so focusing on mine makes them feel better. Good for them.

I’m only interested in the opinion of me from only 2 separate entities: my husband and myself.

If he thinks I looked like a hippocrocapig, then I know he’d say something. I know when I look in the mirror, I do not see a hippocrocapig. In fact, I’m more flabbergasted by the wrinkles I seem to have accrued over the past 33 years and that my eyebrows are thinning in places. They are the real insecurities I have these days.

Weight though? Well, that is down to me feeling comfortable with me. I’m not stick thin, nor am I the size of a house. I am just pleasantly okay in my own skin and I think that is priceless enough.

So the kids will be shown the way until they’re the ones in the full driving seat of their lives and then they can make those choices, good or bad. Hopefully good, but that is all we parents can ever want.

I will keep up the good work on the diet (and with the help of this amaze app I have on my phone that measures everything, including your heart rate, water intake and stress levels – I love Samsung).

I hope you feel happy in your skin too and take no notice of anyone but you.

I believe in you and I probably have never met you! Imagine how much umph you can get out of yourself when you put your mind to it? Go get ‘em, beautiful 😉

Cat x

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