Just not caught my breath since the beginning of this year.
How has 2016 even happened? The years tumble with scary speed from the calendar and I can hardly think for the rush of them.
Some years are better than others, of course. I can name the terrible ones: 1988, 1994, 2000, 2003, 2007, 2015. I can also name the best ones: 1998, 2001, 2004, 2006, 2008, 2013.
So far, the score is even. 2016 could land into one of three catergories: okay, absolutely bloody horrific or brilliant.
It is only 2 weeks in and thus far, it has been a pretty grim time. I lost my friend Jemma a few days in and another friend remains in a very serious situation in hospital. My boiler broke, my shower blew the major house fuse so National Grid had to come out to fix it and the car has just had to have its central locking repaired. Lots of money out, lots of shitty breakdowns and above all – the horrible stuff my friends have gone through.
Another friend had to face a beast from my own past, recently, in court.
I wonder, with these trails of Job metered out upon myself and those I care about, if there will be a break for any of us.
Whenever there is a lottery roll over and my husband and I sit and fantasize about all the amazing things we’d do and all the people we’d help – we always finish with the sobering reality that good things like that seldom happen to good people like us. Or those I care about. So often you see the undeserving appearing to do well or perhaps better.
That is of course an illusion – sins seek out sinners souls and one day, by the might of fate, karma or whatever, the unworthy and the cruel face judgement.
In the same way the good and the virtuous do. We all get judged, ultimately. I don’t mean religiously, but by those who knew us. By those we ultimately leave behind.
My friend Jemma Cottier faces her funeral tomorrow – how will she be judged? With love, joy, happiness and greatest fondness. She will be mourned forever by all whose lives she touched. How is that not the best way to be judged? I’m so proud of her. She lived each day.
My kids are thriving. If the baby got any cuter, it’d be illegal, surely! Her fair refuses to grow long – it seems to remain perpetually short because it keeps spiralling into beautiful blonde ringlets. She is a stunning little dolly and I am, like her Dad, madly in love with her. Even though she is a cheeky little munchkin 🙂
My older daughter is a stunner. Pure and simple. She is doing very well indeed at school and remains on the top table for everything. She actually loves Maths, a subject I never got on with. Definitely takes after her Dad for that one. Saying that, she is her Daddy’s mini-me. I often think I had no hand in the process of creating that child, so like her Dad she is!
My husband is coming up to a year since he broke his leg. He has made a remarkable recovery since he broke it in February 2015. He has made a great progress, but he will have bother with it now and always though. Yet, it is just one of those things we need to tackle as and when it happens. We kind of go through life side by side and take it on together.
Me. Apart from grieving, despairing and being generally feeling crap, am trundling on. My health is pretty bad right now and pretty fragile. I just need to one day learn to be gentle and kind to myself, but I seldom am.
House is on the market and has been for a few months. We have had quite a bit of interest and it is just waiting for the right buyer right now. It’ll take as long as it takes. We are not in a desperate rush and we’re okay to wait it out. Moving house is always a fraught situation. I’m just hoping that good luck I am owed buckets of, comes to visit us soon.
Hope this serves as a bit of an update for you. Nothing much going down with me, other than the awful things happening to those around me. I hate to see others hurt and suffer. I hate it when my health gets worse and worse and… Just hoping for brighter, warmer, calmer and happier days to come for us all.