A Blessed First

It’s said that the little things in life can be the most important.

This is true at times, especially as I experienced a rather blessed first the other day – which I feel so amazed by, I have to share.

I took my now toddling and very determined baby to pick her sister up from School. As it was a lovely sunny day and we’d arrived early, I thought I’d let her toddle down, holding my hand, to wait for her sister to come out of class.

Now, this is the second time she has walked all the way down the path to school to get her sister, so this wasn’t new to her.

She was dragging me hither and thither around the playground, calling out her sister’s name; beside herself to be with her big sister (the two of them are madly in love with each other, most of the time).

When the school bell rang, my older daughter filtered out with her teacher (my kid is always the last out. She takes her time in the cloakroom it would appear). Upon seeing her big sister, my baby girl dragged me forwards so she could get to her.

They threw their arms around each other and Willow chanted: “Daisy! Daisy! Daisy!” with utter joy.

Then, as it is with toddlers, she quickly lost interest, grabbed her sister’s hand and dragged her off. I herded the pair of them (it is like herding cats) up the hill and out the school gate, taking our time on account of Willow’s little but eager legs. This annoyed people behind who wanted to walk quicker, but I guess they would just have to live with it *shrugs*.

Here is the first:

When we got to the gates and therefore, the road, I took both of my girl’s hands in order to cross.

I had a child in each hand as we crossed over and onto the opposite pavement.

I have never, ever felt what it is like to hold two of my children’s hands before. For some reason or another, it has just not happened until then.

It felt magical and overwhelmingly emotional for me. I have four children and this is the first time I have even held both of them at the same time like that.

I kept myself dignified and no-one would have guessed what was going on, but inside, I was replete with waves of joy and love.

Such an ordinary thing to do – to hold your kids hands in yours, but so touching and poigniant for me. Not just because of my losses at all. If I had never lost my older girls, I would still have found that sweet moment just as moving.

I felt like I was complete somehow – I just can’t describe it.

My kids and their Dad are my world and everything in it.

I felt just felt so happy and lucky, even when I am flooded with such sorrow right now.

Cat x


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