I’ve published a book! An actually book! It has pages and a cover and words in it and everything!
It sort of feels like hypocrisy really… is it? I mean yes, I have been published (woot!), but has that now gone against my ideals of writing for love than money?
I’ve said before that writing is vanity. Why be vain enough to dump words on the page and then expect people to be interested or bothered by what you have to say? Who died and made you God, that sort of thing.
I don’t have a superiority/inferiority complex – I have a good grasp of my self worth. I don’t think I am talented or even that good at writing – but the point is, I don’t care because I love to do it. I don’t care if you don’t like it. I care that I like it. I wrote it because I loved it, not because you did. I didn’t write for you, I wrote it for me. It’s like eating a chocolate bar or drinking a glass of wine – you consumed those things for your benefit, for your individual pleasure rather than other people’s.
Sealing myself up in a little bubble where negative comments about my stuff can’t hurt me, may sound a tad unrealistic and a like I’m afraid of it. But, I don’t think that’s what I’m doing here. I’m not afraid of rejection, in a professional sense.
One of my favourite actors said in an interview where he was asked what advice he would give to people wanting to get into acting. His advice is thus: question why you want to do it. Can you handle the daily rejection? Because frankly, there’s a lot of it.
He made a stellar point there – if rejection is an issue for you, then putting yourself out there in a public way, be it writing or acting, is asking for it. You won’t make the grade 99.9% of the time, because there is always someone better and luckier than you. It is as simple as that.
For me? Well, to be perfectly honest, I am neither interested or too bothered by it. I do not seek attention in the conventional sense – I do not seek publishers or auditions. I’m just happy being me in a sort of ‘take me or leave me’ kind of way.
So being published… I suppose that is a very ‘take me or leave me’ sort of thing too.
Don’t get me wrong at all – I am not against publishing in any way. I applaud it and frankly find it necessary. I just do not require it or go out of my way to find it, nor is it the be-all and end-all of my life.
I’m basically saying ‘here I am and it’s now just up to you what you do’. Therefore, if I sell no copies of my work, I’m not happy or unhappy. It is simply a kind of share I’ve done with the world, a kind of offering if you will.
I am proud of the story I published, because my husband loved it so much. It’s only a short story eBook, but my husband said the story really affected him, like all good stories should. I guess that’s more than enough praise for someone who does not seek it, right?
In Other News…
My daughters school application has been sent off now. I bobbins. I am so worried now about what school we got for her and if the form made it across cyber space to the right place at the right time. At least you could blame the post back in the day, now? The computer gremlins!
For some reason, there have been a lot of filming trailers parked up at my local Tesco. Why anyone would want to film anything round where I live or in the vicinity of that Tesco, I have no idea. Either way, it was an interesting thing to see when I was trying to get into the parent and child bay last night. Also a bit of a pest as the bloody bollards they put out where too close to the parent and child bays making reversing difficult. I don’t care what they are ruddy well filming or paying Tesco for the privilege of storing their trailers on the car park – it’s a supermarket, not a bloody film set! People have cartons of wine to buy!
My Dad is a driving instructor in St. Helens and is a rather amazing one at that. I of course base this on several things: he taught me to drive and I am amazing (!), it’s been the family business for as long as I can remember as my Grandad started the business and it has to be the oldest one in St. Helens. Sutton School of Motoring turned 50 in 2011 – how utterly amazing is that? My Grandad passed away in the late 80’s, so it’s been my Dad ever since. I am very proud of him for doing it, especially in tough economic times, slumping numbers of 17 year old to teach and over saturation of other stupid driving schools popping up all the time. Seriously fella’s – my Dad has been at this game since before some of these apparent instructors were even born. His experience and patience is amazing. He has me for a daughter, so that kind of says a lot in itself!
If you want to find out more about my Dad’s driving school, then please, please, please like his Facebook page! He’s also on Twitter too: @SuttonSOM
I am proud and ferociously loyal – too wonderfully maddening traits.