The first 7k words of my redone draft has been seen by eyes other than my own today and received a favourable critique.
It has lost the meandering of the first draft and I’ve tightened up the narrative a lot. I’ve just reinvented a few scenes. The critic who read and reviewed pointed out that during the first draft, there was a scene that aided my leads to meet, worked much better. However – my male lead has changed so much in terms of character and motivation since then.
I agree though – the initial draft scene worked much better and provided a more believable way for the two characters to meet.
Argh! I know not what the solution is. I could just change it back, but that would seem so against the character of Nick that it feels wrong.
As for Nick though – wow. He is so dark, enigmatic and unsympathetic in so many delicious ways. He unwittingly has his life thrown open by Kitty and has to deal with the personal and professional consequences of that.
But the story isn’t about him.
Kitty is narrating in the first person all the way through – but I know her too well not to write her wonderfully. I’m trying not to be contrived with her. She is such a vulnerable character and I don’t want to play on that too much. Kitty is a trooper and hates sympathy. She simply sees that things are a struggle for her, but she keeps sticking one foot in front of the other somehow.
So how do I mix a lass like Kitty up with a bloke like Nick? Hmm. Things to ponder.